I’ve been AWOL from the site for a while….

I know.

I know.

Where have I been? Where did I go? Why did all of a sudden my site go quiet?

It’s a long story.

Get ready.

Last year, after exposure to Glyphosate and exposure to strep throat, I ended up really sick myself. I don’t normally get sick. But about this time last year, I started having serious trouble breathing, couldn’t sleep lying down. First we thought maybe it was allergies, we did have a wet spring last year.

But by summer, we weren’t so sure. It wasn’t like a cold. Or asthma. Or even COPD. By the end of the summer, I couldn’t walk long distances, climb stairs or sleep lying down. I slept at the kitchen table by this time. I was getting winded just by talking. I was waking up tired, and passing out wherever I was sitting.

Doctors wanted to run all kinds of test on me, that I just couldn’t afford since the place I was working cancelled my insurance and never followed through with any replacement like they agreed. I couldn’t even afford an x-ray at this point.

I did end up with health assistance by October. It was then a little easier for me to afford to schedule testing that was wanted of me.

Scheduled the chest xray first, and luckily I had another chest xray from 2013 to compare it to.

By the beginning of December, I was sitting in the doctor’s office. No treatments for asthma or copd was working anymore. I was actually there because I couldn’t get the results of the x-ray without an appointment.

I’d been doing research the 2 days prior to the appointment, which was on a Monday. I was prepared for the news. Or so I thought.

Chronic Heart Failure


I knew that was the top diagnoses for my symptoms. I just didn’t really believe it could happen to me. I mean, lets get honest, I’m in my early 40s, try to eat decent, I was fairly active before I got sick, and most importantly, heart disease does not run in my side of the family.

Yet, here I was, sitting at the clinic, being told I’d need to see a specialist and having an appointment made for me to do so.

I went home in a daze.

How? Why?

Then I realized. None of that mattered. Getting better mattered.

Within 4 days of being diagnosed, I was admitted to the hospital. My chest was tight. I was unable to sleep all night at all. I couldn’t so much as walk a step without gasping for breath.

I was kept in the hospital for 5 days. An angiogram was performed, with no build up, blocks or anything.

My healthcare providers all agree that between the stress, strep and chemical exposure, they could of cause my heart failure. But they cannot be 100% sure which had the biggest factor in my heart failure, due to how long it took for me to finally get it diagnosed.

That’s fine. That’s cool. That’s going behind me.

Now is the time for me to learn to live with CHF.

Since my heart was beating at 30%, due to the fact that my left ventricle was not wanting to pump, I’ve had a pacemaker/defibrillator put in. I like to make bionic woman jokes, lol.

But seriously? I’m so much better. I’m nauseas some still from the pacemaker, but I’m able to walk for 30+ minutes at a time, as long as there’s not too many dips and hills…. Going up stairs still bothers me, walking uphill, and I don’t see me running a marathon anytime soon.

My health is my first priority right now. Because I do want to be there to see both my girls finish school, all my kids get married, cuddle my future grandbabies, and grow old beside my husband.

If my doctor prescribes me medication, I look for discount programs first. Because medications can be expensive. And my medications are what keeping my heart pumping. And even though I have my pacemaker, no ones told me to stop taking any of the medications.

Rx Outreach and Xubex are 2 online pharmacies they may be able to assist with reasonable costing medications. Rx Outreach does have a income limit. Xubex does charge for shipping.

NeedyMeds is an extremely accurate tool one can use to find manufactur prescription assistance programs (PAPs) (generally FREE medication). They update their website on a regular basis. And best of all, NeedyMeds is FREE. They also have a list of other organizations that may be able to help with specific disorders.

So, while I keep on being me, doing my thing and whatnot, I’m also trying to incorporate the new me into all that.